Ok yes I’ve got a sick sense of humor, but I hate being just sick. And my rescue dog Simon always has sympathy pains for Mama when she is 🙂 Have you been boxing your cold with meds, fluids and every homeopathic option under the sun and that damn illness is just taking its sweet time getting out of your body? Well I’ve got your sick ass covered! Here are some remedies that have worked for me. Tips to rock the yuckie without giving a f#ckie! haha
1) If you’re sick…stay the hell home. Don’t try to “rally” and show up at every social event. No one wants to schmooze with the person coughing up crap. I don’t want a high five from the red nosed sicko who just sneezed a sinus infection into their hand. Take advantage of this time and live in that cozy bathrobe or those strip club thin sweat pants. If you’re a dude, I felt you smirk 😉
2) Get down with tea bagging! Yep tea bag yourself multiple times a day when you’re sick. Add some raw honey and ginger to help with throat and nose congestion. Green tea has secret magical Chinese healing powers, so drink it!
3) Suck it up! Stop talking. No one wants to hear for the 10th time you don’t feel good, so put a cough drop in your mouth and just be. My favorite brand is Ricola because they’re all natural with health inducing herbs which means you’re not putting man made artificial junk into your already sick body.
4) Roofie yourself. Okay, not the actual street version of a roofie but the second best CVS option that will kick your butt… Nyquil! Hope you trust your roommates because you’re about to be knocked into a deep sleep that not even a sharpie all over your face or a hand in warm water making you whiz will wake you up from. Tuck yourself in and get ready for some messed up dreams in NyNy land. Even if you piss yourself that deep sleep will do you good!
5) Tissue time. In my opinion when you turn a corner and your snot has changes seasons (green to yellow to clear) it’s ok to share this snot art with whoever is lucky enough to be in your company. This might be the only bright side to being sick all week so you gotta entertain yourself somehow.
6) Medicine doesn’t taste good, get over it. Then again many things don’t taste good but we still put them in our mouths… So with all things, just take it like a champ, it will be worth it in the end.
7) It’s nice we have friends checking in on us. It’s also super annoying we have friends checking in on us. Yes I’m still sick, yes it still hurts to talk, yes I’ll call you when I’m better which means leave me the heck alone to just heal in peace over here.
Tweet me at @JillAnenberg and share your remedies or sick pet peeves with me!
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